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Submitted on
December 23, 2012
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Sta.sh Writer
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I lock my door and wrap myself in blankets
To let you know that you're not welcome
I know exactly who you are and why you try to fake it
And I feel like a child compared to who you've become

I wear jeans under my sweatpants
and hoodies over my sweaters
I always cross my legs and cover my chest
Because I'm older and I know better

I never let you near me like I used to do
Or rest your hands around my waist
I never let you tear my shirt or throw away my shoes
Your name to me is a disgrace 

No longer will you take away my innocence
No longer will you haunt my dreams
No longer will I swallow your consequences 

No longer... so it seems...
This one is really hard for me to share.
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:iconmcrismine:
mcrisMINE Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i think ik exacly what ur talking about....note me
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:iconcloudbangry:
cloudbangry Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This describes how I've felt for years. I'm glad you're able to talk about it and let it out, it's always best not to ignore it. I did for 13 years and am now paying a very heavy price.

Beautiful poem my dear, I wish you all the best.
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:iconbennypebbles:
it's a very meaningful poem <3
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:iconinvoking:
Invoking Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You have my utmot respect, ~CiderSound. Though I have never been through what you describe in your beautiful poem, I know people who have, and I say thank you so much for sharing. It must have taken a large amount of strength to do so... I am sorry for whatever undesirable events transpired that caused you to be knowledgable of this... Stay strong :heart:
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:iconcidersound:
CiderSound Dec 23, 2012  Student General Artist
Thanks so much <3 going through something like this definitely makes you more fearful of the world, but in doing so, it makes you stronger and more careful. Its taken years to recover. And I'm not fully recovered, though I probably never will be. But I'm glad I've finally built up the courage to really talk about this and let it out. :)
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:iconshougatouki:
ShougaTouki Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't relate to the story itself, but I can relate to the feeling. Sometimes writing is the best therapy. And you're right. No one should ever have to go through this.
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:iconcidersound:
CiderSound Dec 23, 2012  Student General Artist
And its terrible how many people do on a daily basis. :'c but writing helps the healing.
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:iconshougatouki:
ShougaTouki Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
That it does. I wrote a slam poem about it about 2 weeks ago and it really helped. I've been in therapy for 6 years now because it but I'm getting better. However, it's still hard for me to create close relationships.
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:iconcidersound:
CiderSound Dec 23, 2012  Student General Artist
I don't think I'd ever be comfortable in a relationship. It was actually a relative but its made it so I'm just uncomfortable around people in general. I never talked about it when I was in therapy. Its just something I personally need to come to terms with myself.
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:iconshougatouki:
ShougaTouki Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
If that's what you need, then that's the best therapy. But I'm alright around others that are either my friends or aren't of my age. I was in an elementary school full of bullies and where the teachers treated them like the victims and thought I was a crazy, socially awkward child that exaggerated the truth.
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